Movie Reviews

*MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING* Starring: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett and Michael Constantine Written by: Nia Vardalos Directed by: Joel Zwick Rated: PG Reviewed: September 7, 2002
Summary Toula Portokalos is a thirty-year old, frumpy Greek woman who begins to blossom when she gives up on the idea of getting married and having babies. But as soon as she is reconciled to that notion, Toula meets Mr. Right and commits the unpardonable sin of falling in love with a non Greek, Ian Miller (John Corbett). Her struggle to get her parents to accept her choice while introducing him into her enormous Greek family forms the basis for this delightful film.
Steve says: A comedy that is actually funny -- what will they think of next? Of course, we had to go outside the studio system to make it happen. My Big Fat Greek Wedding is the little indie that could. Shot on a meager budget of less than seven million dollars, the film is poised to break the $100,000,000 mark. You’d think this would send a message to the studios, who are still wondering why people are assiduously avoiding the Dana Carvey puke-fest, Master Of Disguise. The lesson? If you build it (and populate it with appealing characters, an endearing story and jokes that make them laugh), they will come. But don’t wait for any light bulbs to fire up over the heads of those running the studios. They’re still convinced that all they have to do is find the right formula and their movies will make money. My Big Fat Greek Wedding began its charmed life as a one-woman performance piece by actress/writer Nia Vardalos, who was lucky enough to have Tom Hanks and his wife, Rita Wilson show up for one of her performances. The Hanks’ fell in love with Greek Wedding and optioned the piece for their company, Playtone Films. As producer, Hanks was also instrumental in fighting off boneheaded ideas from the money people, like throwing out Vardalos and recasting the role with Sandra Bullock. Granted, not everyone in the cast is actually Greek, though many if not most are. But non-Greeks Lainie Kazan and Andrea Martin are skillful enough to blend in with the real deal, like Michael Constantine and Louis Mandylor. The result is a hilarious and insightful look at another culture as it prepares to walk a daughter down the aisle. In fact, My Big Fat Greek Wedding would play nicely on a double bill with Monsoon Wedding, Mira Nair’s similarly-themed film from earlier this year. Vardalos and John Corbett (Sex And The City) make for a charming pair of leads. She’s pita and he’s Wonder Bread. Of course, cross cultural comedy is nothing new, pre-dating even Abie's Irish Rose. But when it is done insightfully and with great affection, as this movie is, the result is a very entertaining couple of hours in a theater. Michael Constantine was once a constant presence on television and in films, but he hasn’t been seen much in recent years. However, the talented character actor more than makes up for lost time with his winning portrayal of Portokalos family patriarch, Gus, who stubbornly believes that everything that ails mankind can be cured with Windex. The role will not only put him back on casting directors’ radar, but is good enough to warrant a best supporting actor nomination come next March. Those same casting directors should also keep an eye out for other roles for Vardalos, who charms the pants off us without once resorting to any of those Sandra (“Ain’t I Adorable”) Bullock quirks. But even if they don’t, the multi-talented performer has proven in spades that she is more than capable of making her own opportunities. Television director Joel Zwick acquits himself nicely on the big screen with scenes that are well-paced and to the point. However, the film could have used a better director of photography; one with the ability to give the film a richer look. As it is, the scenes have that washed-out look from which many low-budget efforts suffer. My Big Fat Greek Wedding is a big fat winner; and its family friendly as well, so don’t hesitate to take the kids. Five kernels. - Steve Marshall	Patty says: I didn’t want to like this movie. The trailers led me to believe that My Big Fat Greek Wedding was a bad parody of the aforementioned Monsoon Wedding except the actors would have baklava on their breath. I was wrong. It was a good parody. Nia Vardalos frames her story so richly in intricate family dynamics that the love story is almost lost in the background. Traditional family roles define her until she takes the risk and explores her opportunities. She connects with heartthrob Ian Miller, played appealingly by John Corbett and must juggle her love for him with her love of family. More importantly, her family must come to terms with the fact that the guy is an Amerikanos. It’s an appealing premise and I think Vardalos nails it. They always tell aspiring writers to write what they know. What can one know better than one’s own life story? There was nice balance between the cultural and the relationship piece. Steve scooped me on the Sandra Bullock fiasco. After viewing Vardalos in the role, Bullock’s casting would have trivialized the story. The casting in general was excellent. Kids, leads and actors in supporting roles were as professional as they come. There was ample opportunity to ham it up which was, for the most part, scrupulously ignored by director Zwick. The supporting characters were interesting enough. They didn’t need embellishment. The only ding that I give this film is the idealistic tenacity of the love between the principals. They seemed to be helplessly accepting of what, in this day and age, are generally considered archaic, sexist practices. Even if you accept that the central characters live in a vacuum, the opportunity for conflict between these two lovers is missed. Love without conflict is like sex without sweating. Four and a half kernels. - Patty Miller-Marshall

The Kernel Rating System

The reason we go to the movies

Not perfect but pretty darn good

A stupefyingly average film

An affront to civilized people everywhere

The parents of these filmmakers should never have met

*ONE HOUR PHOTO* Starring Robin Williams, Connie Nielsen and Michael Vartan Written and directed by Mark Romanek Rated: R Reviewed: August 31, 2002
Summary The one-hour photo booth at the Sav•Mart has been managed for the past eleven years by a painfully shy, bespectacled hang-dog man named Sy Parrish. During that time, he has developed (1) a near-manic perfection ideal for his work; and (2) an obsession for a local family whose pictures he has processed for almost a decade. An event within the family sends Sy’s fixation into overdrive.
Steve says: If you think that sounds like a great premise for a thriller, you’re right. It’s a movie I’d like to see. Sadly, it’s not the one I saw. Oh, the bare bones of the plot are there, but as a suspense piece, One Hour Photo has had a thrillectomy. The best reason -- perhaps the only reason to see this movie is Robin Williams. He becomes so immersed in the character of Sy Parrish that nearly all traces of Robin Williams are gone. This performance is so good that it almost redeems him for having subjected me to Patch Adams, Bicentennial Man, What Dreams May Come, Jakob The Liar and the rest of that treacle-fest that Williams has called a career for the past decade. There is one film -- Death To Smoochy -- for which I will not let Robin off the hook. Even though it was the first of the recent Williams vehicles to embrace his dark side, Smoochy contained some of the worst acting ever committed to celluloid. (See our archives to find out what we really thought of that one). Things began to look up when Williams appeared opposite Al Pacino in this year’s eerie and evocative Insomnia. Most critics agreed that Williams more than held his own with the legendary Al. Now, Robin Williams kicks some serious acting ass in the role of Sy Parrish. His immersion into character must be seen to be believed. However, if you’re not the sort to be entertained by a performance and also require such incidentals as pace, tension and suspense, you’re likely to be disappointed by One Hour Photo. But if great acting floats your boat, you’ll see Williams realize a truly memorable film character. He is perhaps the best bad guy since Sir Anthony Hopkins downed some fava beans and a nice chianti. Why? Because his Sy Parrish is both sympathetic and even empathetic. While the credits rolled, the people behind us got into a spirited discussion about whether or not Parrish really was a bad guy at all. Much of the sluggish nature of the movie must be credited to writer/director Mark Romanek. This is strange indeed, since Romanek’s prior claim to fame was as the director of videos for Madonna and Nine Inch Nails. Traditionally music videos, while sometimes monumentally stupid, do not suffer from a lack of pacing. So what’s up with this one, Mark? Did you not learn that letting shots go on far too long is a really big no-no? Oh, and while we’re picking on you, Mark old boy, let’s talk about the huge cheats in the writing. The story is narrated in flashback form by an incarcerated Sy Parrish. However, we see many scenes where Sy is not present and therefore, could not possibly be relating what happened and what was said. Get a clue, Mark. We’re talking Screenwriting 101 here. The film has the quick and dirty look of an independent film, which indeed it is, a negative pick-up by Fox Searchlight. Much of the story takes place in the Sav•Mart, which is dominated by harsh, overhead fluorescent lighting that is very unpleasant on the eye. Then there was a protracted scene in a hotel room featuring nudity (relax, it wasn’t Robin) that was shot so darkly, we didn’t get to see any of the goodies. So a word to the wise, Mark. If you had done the nudity with the fluorescent lights, maybe you would have had something. Michael Vartan and Gary Cole play okay, though uninspired supporting roles as does Connie Nielsen (Gladiator). This one is Williams’ show all the way. On its own merits, One Hour Photo rates one and a half kernels. However, Robin Williams elevates it to three. - Steve Marshall	Patty says: Pace? My leg hair grows faster than the pace of this story. There is nothing quick about this film except the onset of boredom. First of all, it isn’t suspenseful or scary. Our regular readers will recall Steve splitting his inseams laughing as he recalls having to give me CPR in The Sixth Sense. I am admittedly so terrified of being terrified that my anticipation alone is enough to make the actual monster anticlimactic. I admit it; I’m sometimes more fun to watch in scary movies than the actual movie. I’m a suspense film weenie girl. So when I tell you that this story isn’t scary, this is coming from someone who STILL has to shower with the curtain open after watching Psycho. Unlike Steve, I liked the starkness of the photography. I felt that it matched the flat tone of William’s character and, unfortunately, the rest of the flick. It was, at least, consistent. There was some promise of thematic interest which never quite evolved. The happy family, in contrast with the empty life of the man behind the photo developing counter was an interesting premise. Sy, at a glance, could be Anyman. We all go about our lives interacting with bank tellers, waiters, and grocery checkers without giving much thought to their lives. What if somebody in the periphery of your life took an interest in you and your family? What if that interest evolved into an obsession? What if… well, I don’t want to rob you of the enjoyment of one of the few unpredictable elements in the story. It isn’t a psychological thriller, it isn’t suspenseful, it isn’t scary and the characters aren’t even very interesting. Other than that, it’s a great film. Two kernels. Williams’ spectacular acting can’t even redeem this one. - Patty Miller-Marshall